Writing blocks and Writer's Block

Today I’m struglling with writers block. I stared at the screen for almost and hour and....nothing. Zip, nada. Now it wasn’t just a blank screen but page 17 of the current feature screenplay that I already have an outline for. Yes, outlining usually breaks this monotony but not today. Not the coffee or the breakfast got me into a mindset of throwing words into the mouths of my characters.

Sure I know where they’re going. What needs to be said in order for them to move from point M to point N. I even have point Z on the page. It’s just the case that nothing fun, original, or slightly contrived was spewing off my finger-tips.

I have a few writing aides, rum, cookies, porn, you know, the usual. But they just didn’t seem to be the right ingredient to get things moving this afternoon.

I even went to a decent site that deals with Writer’s Block. It talks about hacking the block. Very 2001!

So, I’m going to grab some groceries and see if that throws me back into the fray. I have a deadline and I’m going to meet it!

MTB

Flashpoint - recognition 19 times over

Yesterday, the nominations for the annual Gemini Awards were announced. The awards recognize the best in Canadian Television.

Flashpoint, the series that follows an elite tactical police unit, garnered 19 nominations for its first season. Hugh Dillon and Enrico Colantoni were both nominated in the same category as male lead in a dramatic series.

Between these two, it might come to ‘Rico talking Hugh down or Hugh going rogue and taking his own shot.

Having been a part of the first season. I knew the show had star-talent and the episode ‘Haunting the Barn’ or as the crew called it “The Bottle Episode” was stellar. The Academy agreed. Mark Ellis and Stephanie Morgenstern nominated for the script and Ron Lea does a stellar performance as a retired SRU officer who just can’t let go of a case.

Not only is this show great Canadian television but great television period.

If you haven’t seen the show or this nominated episode go to ctv.ca, cbs.com, or iTunes.

Chess - 15 Years Later

Tonight, I’m going to see the latest presentation from the Hamilton, Ontario theater that started my course into entertainment. The program at Theatre Aquarius, headed by theatre choreographer and director, Lou Zamprogna, was and still is the most rigorous training ground for anyone passionate about the arts and learning what focus and sacrifice it take to mount a production under industry standards.

The direction of the program is broken into two phases. The first phase, a multi-dicipline training in scene study, monologue, dance, movement, and choral singing. All these exercises hit a crecendo with an in-house audition for parts in the yearly musical production.

The second phase, a 13-day intensive mounting a full-fledge broadway musical production. Day 1 get the script, day 12, technical rehersals. This puts the students in a professionals mind-set and accumen of how things work in the real world where time and money are the pressures that don’t give much time to find the truth in the scenes.

In 1994, the first production of Chess, a rock-musical written by Tim Rice and music by ABBA members Börjn Yulves and Benny Anderson, tells of the fictional chess match between American chess prodigy Freddy Trumper (inspired by Bobby Fischer) and Russian Grandmaster, Anatoly Sergivesky. As the players manuver the pieces during the matches the CIA and KGB play with the chess-masters emotional weaknesses.

In 2009, a Lincoln Center benefit concert of Chess was helmed by Josh Groban as Anatoly and Adam Pascal as Freddy. To grab a hold of this awesome album check it out, http://www.chessinconcert.com/.

Medre to all those in tonights performance.

GLEE

I’m eagerly anticipating this show in the fall. It’s unlike any scripted show I’ve seen out there. Not only do the creators of the show know a thing or two about creating intense drama but believable drama.

The musical numbers are impressive on a feature film scale and mind-blowing that they are executing this on a television timeline, which for most hour-long programs is only 7 to 8 days. I’m sure they must have their own musical pre-production unit just to keep the quality at par with what the pilot has made the audience expect.

This is definitely a show I would recommend taking a look at, especially after a year of doom and gloom it’s time for some glee.

Closing doors = better choices

There’s something to be said when the face of rejection appears in a storytellers life. It usuay means that there is something not benefiting in that relationship.

Such was the case yesterday. I loathe the term “Canadian Television.” It’s as vile as “Reality” programs which are just unscripted drama competitions.

Television should not be defined or defended by its limitations as a national label. Good television is sought and watched, bad tv is painful and usually disconnected with any audience. The mediocre of these are state-run programs that are homoginized to the point they’re as mentally and emotionally nutritious as white sugar and bread.

They run their life, but never to much of an audience, and if there is the sudden mass appeal to the show it’s regretably cancelled. This has nothing to do with the show, but the network is run like a school-board. And we all know a school board can’t run a profit or become self-sustaining or the following year the government funding simply won’t be there.

I never want mediocre results and now I’m happy to know that with a little bit of rejection I’m back on the path to bigger things.

MTB

Sitting for what seems like an eternity at the Exhibition Station in Toronto.

Waiting and the Afterlife

I have a hard time believing that people go to the dramatic pits of hell when they pass on if they’re a bad person. To me, that just doesn’t male sense. The fire, brimstone, hot pokers, it’s all just a bit too predictable.

What woils be a fantastic way to treat these souls is to give them a notice from FedEx or UPS saying that they’ll deliver a package between 10am-2pm and have the clocks eternally move between those four hours.

Also, the last 6-digits of the tracking number would be smudged, so they couldn’t call to see the status of the delivery.

Family Coma

The single guy. Oh, that title made me feel fantastic today at a family gathering. The chat amongst everyone wasn’t about North Korea, Iran, NXNE, or the state of stalemate in Canadian politics. Things that I feel passionate about and have a dialogue for. The talk was mainly about diamond chips, nannies, and the troulbes of vacationing while trying to fit in life with a newborn.

I really thought about all those fathers locked up in foreign prisons, such as Gitmo, and would have traded spots with them for a few hours.

But it is Father’s Day and I guess sacrifice is one oc the gifts that keeps on giving.

About Life...

We should not pretend to understand the world only by the intellect; we apprehend it just as much by feeling. Therefore, the judgement of the intellect is, at best, only the half of truth, as must, if it be honest, also come an understanding of its inadequacy.

Carl Jung

Wedding Showers

They seem like something that would be put together in the San Fernando Valley but they’re actually quite the classy affair. I was just a little surprised by the “No Boys Allowed” sign on the door.

Love, Lust, and the Confusion that comes with it

I’ll never think I have this whole love thing figured out. It’s one of the great mysteries of the universe. But, I think I have some inkling of what I want, what I long for, and what I have to give.

I hate the games. I’ve never seen myself as a player and quite frankly never really understood the appeal of closing off emotionally to the point that other people seem like commodities. It’s childish, foolish, and wouldn’t surprise me if I’ve done it in the past not recognizing it as such.

I think I got on this whole tangent after seeing, “He’s Just Not That Into You”. Great cast, cringe-worthy moments, and puttering end. Really, it took this insidious thing we call ‘dating’ these days and showed it fairly straight-forward. Sure there’s the Hollywood narrative but over-all there wasn’t too much of a glass slipper moment.

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I may have said this before in the blog but I just want to reaffirm this....dating sucks.

Meeting a thousand and one nice people is one of the most excruciating exercises we can possibly subject ourselves to. The amount of mental, physical, emotional, and fiscal energy wasted on those countless “nice evenings” could probably abolish poverty, racism, hunger, and the long-standing feud in the Middle-East. I know that sounds meek but I wish that girl for me had one of those blinking lights that are needed on tall buildings to warn approaching aircraft.

But I know that’s a bit of a futile stretch.

So, here I am. Content with my life at the moment as I forge the path to my career and keep meeting these ‘nice’ people along the way. I know that they will all probably show up in some form throughout my life in a myriad of characters in my projects (nothing too specific to avoid seeking out a legal team) but gestures, quotes, stories, and fashion will ease their way into my subconscious and out through these fingers on to the page.

I guess regardless of the outcome I should thank these women. These wonderful beautiful women who weave into my life for a moment or more and build this fabric of my social conscience wider and with more sustenance than the day before I knew them.

Soundtrack of Life

Aside from the great collection of U2, 80’s Rock, and Jazz Masters, I love listening to movie scores.

Unlike the traditional classical pieces I’ll listen to on Classical 96.3, scores have a sweeping and distorting sense of whimsy. Since they’re created to back the emotional content of a scene and the action of a piece whether it’s the counter-measure to dialogue.

When you hear soft strings it pulls at an emotional depth that no sentence can reach.

I was watching “Braveheart” the other day and noticed that rousing speech Gibson gives at the Battle of _______, one of the top call to arms speeches if I ever heard one, is impacted so much by the strings and woodwinds that by the time he’s ready to charge I’m enthralled to the point I want to grab a spear and give my English ancestors a thorough impaling.

I think if I could have everyday walking music playing all the time it would be a toss up to the opening theme for “American Beauty” or “Empire Records”. The quirky claves would just make everything that more interesting.

What would your top songs be for the soundtrack of your life?

First Dates

I’m back. I’m not really sure why I left but it had something to do with forgetting that I can write these fantastic blogs without being connected to the net. Really, sometimes I feel like the ethernet cord is attached to my spine I’m around this computer so much.

So, first dates. That’s what I want to rant about and would love to hear some comments, horror stories, and anything else in between. They are the basis for so many great stories and the Hollywood expectations of first dates is enough anxiety to throw anyone into a corner cowering feebly.

Not to get into specifics for legal and moral reasons of my date tonight. But it was probably one of the best that I can recall. It was...well...simply sweet and normal. No high drama, no Freudian analysis, just a great conversation that lasted from coffee shop to great thai and back to coffee in the open air.

We talked about work, passions, and ways to tell when you’ve tied one too many on. Oh, the part that might be normal for all but it works for me in the flow of the convo is regarding shoes. They come up...a lot. I guess I have that shoe vibe going on...who knew.

I think the best barometer for a first date has to be time. Not only the length of time spent together but really how quickly the clock flies. What are your feelings on this?

Now, I might have gone pretty traditional with buying dinner for us but the way I see it is, if I’m the one asking out on a first date it’s just common-courtesy that I cover the meal. If she wants to grab drinks or coffee after, I’m cool with that. After those first initial meeting then going dutch is par.

Well, it was successful enough that we’ve set-up a second date. Thanks for the great night J.

So I’m interested to hear some of your best and worst first dates!

Surprising Myself

Sometimes you get those reminders that you’re on the right path when you’re not expecting it.

I had a meeting that went so well that I impressed myself by some of the comments from an industry heavy-weight. But before I could let out a heavy sigh of relief I was back rewriting and taking suggestive notes for the next draft of my script which was the focus of this meeting.

I love storytelling and this just reminds me of how much of a collaborative effort it is. Getting that research for a story helps so much with the technical aspects but nothing compares to having a seasoned pro give to notes on tempo and other subtleties that no manuel or google page can help you find the answers for.

Some of the best advice I got a few years back was to collect all the information on a subject as if I was about to write a master’s thesis on the universe of that topic. Read it over as many times as I possibly could when forming the basic points of a story/episode/feature. Then, when it came to actually fleshing the outline and giving the story substance put all that research away. Knowing that world in depth, and having that subconscious knowledge, will bring out new and exciting twists without having to push for a turn.

We all know when someone’s pushing for an emotion but letting it form freely gives a much better, and sometimes surprising, reaction.

Oh, and a quick note. Check out my friend Mark & Stephanie’s episode of “Flashpoint” this Friday at 9pm on CTV & CBS. Or if you miss it, the episode is called “Last Dance” on iTunes.

Elements of Design

Structure

This weekend has had a theme. It wasn’t on purpose, rather far from it but the subject of structure kept coming up and I’m happy that it did.

On Friday, after completing a draft of a spec script for flashpoint that I’ve been working on for weeks and had a lot of trouble getting through, I realized that most of the turmoil I was facing dealt with the fact that I went into the script without a solid outline. I had the basic story in my head, knew the characters, while the end was vague.

Somehow, it all seemed to work out and the episode seems to have enough strong points that it makes for an interesting encounter that the SRU Team has yet to encounter.

Then, on a whim Saturday afternoon I thought it would be good idea to begin check out the films that were nominated for the Academy Awards. I don’t think that every great movie gets nominated but there are some titles I just miss at TIFF. I started off with Slumdog Millionaire at the cinema (although I thought the DVD release date was back on the first week of February) and thought it was a fantastic story. Since the script doesn’t gives just enough exposition to make sure you don’t get lost, for the most part you’re on the ride with Jamal through the tale without much forewarning.

Then TROPIC THUNDER made me hurt. Robert Downey Jr. deserved any and every accolade for his performance.

Then, under a vail of inspiration I started on my next project. Learning from the struggle I had with the Flashpoint script I bought a decent quality outline program called Contour. It’s from the same company that makes Montage, the first Mac-only scripting software.

The program really helps give a solid structure (there, I said it again) to not only the character’s qualities but the journey they must take.

Since I wasn't at the Governor's Ball

So February has been a little slim on the posts. For that my most sincere apologizes. It's really been a month filled with a mix of procrastination, frustration, and an all-round sense of being in a perpetual rodent wheel. 

I know that setting goals that are completely unrealistic can in-fact work against you but this time I don't think that's been the case. I've had a spec script that's been in the first draft stage for well over a month and I keep on going back to fine tune the first two Acts while letting the back-end slide. I know the basics of the story but without having the complete episode on paper and fattening it up to the appropriate page length. It's part worry about "what next" but the other part is that perpetual daemon of procrastination that makes you watch "I Want That" on Fine Living at 3 in the morning instead of tackling the freakin' script. 

Just putting that line down on the screen makes me realize how much of a douche I sound like whining about it. 

All month long I've just been feeling like life was sailing by...when I'm the one who's just been forgetting what side of the tube I like being in control of more.

Oh, and if my Grandpa is reading this...I'll be holding your nickname for me in a couple years. Thanks for reminding me.

She's not Perfect...

She's not perfect but irreplaceable.

She dances in the silhouettes of the moonlight,

Guides the path of the fireflies on the bog.

Her hair entangles the passioned air, 

And cuts through the mire of the fog.

Her form like a sire,

leveling the playing field to dust.

Her heart scares most men,

Passionate depths are her sacred trust.

Whimsy and sass are her seductive defense.

My lips are dry,

It scares me to pursue her, 

Following my heart,

I need that push.

She's not perfect but irreplaceable.

Pushing Myself out of Limbo

So, in this season of sky falling I thought the best course of action would be to apply as a flight attendant for a few of the airlines.

My biggest complaint about that I really wanted to change about my life in the last year was how static my life has been. I like Toronto but have never felt like it was truly home. I felt at home in Manhattan and as luck, fate, or somewhere gray-in-between I got an interview at a regional carrier this morning.

I love the feeling of flight and I've been saying that I want to see more of Canada lately. This would cover that desire and make a few bucks in the process. Plus being part of a regulated industry it will be a nice bit of change.

Chicken Little Recipe

Is anyone else sick of hearing how the sky is falling?

Maybe I'm just listening to too many shows south of the border. Maybe all this doom and gloom is just suppose to be the ugly friend standing beside the morally uplifting speeches on President Obama. Maybe it's just a case of fiscal bleeding is just easier for leading the headlines. At any rate, it's something that just seems like a perpetual hole that everyone with a microphone is helping to dig into.

Call me a rebel or idealist, but I like to see this time as an amazing opportunity. The bubble of sorts is deflated and the over-inflated prices are mellowed. I will say that I am touched by the lack of jobs in my industry, at the moment, but it is also very normal for this time of year to be quiet and the prospect of diversifying my income base gets me excited every morning.

If a lot of people start to see this as a desperate time that can only mean that value for the dollar will increase. I see it wearing on the faces of the over-connected middle-class around me and I'm sure that just weathering this time with the right mindset will definitely have me coming out on top.

"Don't worry about the things you have no control over and if you have control over them, don't worry and do something about it."

Scheduling Life

I always use to think that scheduling your life was so rigid and uncreative. As it turns out, it's actually very freeing. Freeing in the true term of FREEDOM, you make it, you get to stick to it or not, but you know that the positive, productive, and growing side of you feeds off that stick-to-it nature, while that destructive, lazy side fights to take away that momentum and keep you comfortably dissatisfied. 

If I hadn't said it in prior posts, I'm on the P90X system at the moment. I'll be the first to admit that keeping the motivation for such an intense training regime has been tough. I've missed a few days but I have the resolve to complete the course cause I've found enough why's to get out of this fat suit and back into the shape I recognized myself. The hardest part I've found isn't even the workouts that really do a number on every fiber in my body, but getting off the couch or chair and pulling out the mat and weights to actually throw the DVD on. 

I'm sure that regardless of which exercise program you're on, it's the follow-through that makes you see the results. With this program, it works you so hard it's actually impossible not to expect results just from getting though workout-after-workout even if you don't do as many reps as the insane group on the television. 

In the past year I've really learned the value of finding a mentor. You can't really push yourself consistantly without knowing there's an external force expecting results. They don't have to be mind-blowing results either, just a constant push forward. That's actually what I'm liking about the message boards and this guy Tom  who's already completed the 90 day challenge and has the results I'm wanting. Even if it's not an in person mentoring, I can at least email him and get  some pointers from someone who's gone through the trials and knows the mental challenges of seeing the program to completion. 

Being the new year, I've also started to put my schedule into portable forms with syncing my iPhone with the laptop. As much as I love my planner, my phone is almost always at my hip and I really can't escape it. The biggest challenge for me is to actually sit down and chunk out time for writing. This use to be an arbitrary task and I'd do at any spare moment I had. The problem with that is when you're tired and unfocused the television or Wii usually seemed to win out to the keyboard. By chunking an actual time, I have no excuses and have a soft goal for how many pages I want to achieve in this time. My writing mentor Gordon, always told me that this is a business that measures it's winners in years of longevity. 

Alright, calling it a very early evening! 

Be great to each other!

Hypersomnia Irritability

The last two days have really been polar-opposites in the way that I've felt but also in the way that at the end of the day the productivity which has ensued. 

Two days ago, I found myself "in state"; things were flying off the finger-tips and I was able to cross off about a dozen to-do's. Part of that was I was out of the apartment for quite some time and I was sitting in balance when I was getting almost ten pages of script written. 

Then I stayed up late. Although I feel mostly like myself in the late hours I find that the following day lags, and by the end of the day, like tonight, I feel like I've wasted time and more importantly another day of MY life.

I've had a hard time with follow-through. Now I'm not sure if it's just that I haven't put much meaning into my deadlines or that the amount of errands and tasks I mentally build-up for myself become so monstrous that I feel paralyzed. 

I hate working for someone else yet I don't feel like I know how to garner new business. I have the skills to produce and tell a story through media skills but have been so entrenched in the old-school methods of unionized shows that I feel stuck and must relearn new ways to go about blazing my own path.

Tonight, I'm making a change. 

Tonight, I'm finding my own hope.

Tonight, I'm going to bed early (well, relatively)

The last two days have really been polar-opposites in the way that I've felt but also in the way that I've 

Balance and Disease

So, I'm finally feeling like my body's in some sort of order. I booked an early appointment at the chiropractor and for the first time in months I'm feeling some sort of progressive change in this ear-ache that has become more nagging then a distant relative. It really made me aware that ease and the flip-side of it, disease, are just that. If you're not letting the pathways in your body work at the ultimate efficiency then something as simple as a ear-ache can literally give unbalance to life.

Part of the challenge in finding a great chiropractor is in the details. I'm not one for the ones who go on rants about how the evil drug companies are spoiling lives and that drugs just mask the underlying "magic" that's in our nervous system. As much as I am a fan of magicians, when I have a pounding headache and can't get adjusted at the moment, I'm going to pop a pill for temporary relief.

The other part in the challenge is finding a practicioner who doesn't have a billion and a half gadgets to show you print out after print out of why I'm not feeling well. I know I'm not feeling well, something feels out. I don't need a spectro-diapameter print-out to show why.

My chiropractor is fantastic! She doesn't use any of the aforementioned, just some good old hand pressure and a massage "Thumper" to relax the muscles prior to the adjustment.

I highly recommend her to anyone.

Insurance and Contract Work

Insurance is fantastic when it works! You always hear that it's always something you should get just incase something devistating happens. Well, I had my last contract in November and have been on the hunt ever since. One of the blessings of working a crew position on a show is that there is the Employment Benefits that are available to you if the next project isn't a go or some political maneuvering finds you without employment unexpentantly.

So, hoping to catch a second break with the credit card payments, I call and enquire about the Payment Protection insurance to pay my premiums until I'm a working man once again. Well, I never recieved the certificate for the coverage (mistake #1 on their part) but the challenging part I find is that in said certificate there is a clause that states they will not approve the claim if the insuree is in a contract type of employment.

So, I'm probably going to sell blood on the weekend...anyone up to go on a roadtrip?

Right into It

Like the birth of anything in our society a name takes on such reverence and, well, identity. I see this as a outlet to let the gallery in my head fume and expose those ideas, rants, salutations, and reflection from my life. The best part about it is that I feel by sharing myself I'm still even involved in the community even if it's by speaking in this one sided narrative. So, I encourage you all to respond, quip, oppose, and find the humor in this crazy part of my life.

I thought of doing a big introduction, but I already know who I am at this point and I'm interested to see how it's all going to evolve in the coming months and years. 2009 earmarks a very large change in my life and I'm starting to believe emotionally that a life worth living is worth recording.